Deep in Thoughts
It’s been a long time since I wrote a blog and alot of stuff has been bothering me for the past few days and I feel like need to vent out. This blog could sound very boring, but this is just a reference to what I have been thinking lately, much like talking to myself so feel free to dismiss yourself anytime from reading this passage. Anyways it has been 3 days now without proper sleep because of the amount of work I have to do for school. For one thing I can’t complain. It is education. Still I feel shit every hour of the day. My body is constantly reminding me of the lack of sleep I am putting in. With that being said, I am constantly stressed. Which addresses me to my learning in my Psychology class. Stress can cause one to get sick physically and mental. Honestly I have been experiencing alot of back problems, which has come back from senior year high school. With this in mind I remember how I was supposed to get a back surgery, but the doctor stated that a person can only have a surgery in the spine once, and I remember my parents rejecting treatment. As much as I want the pain to go away, who knows what other problem I might run into in the future? I am experiencing stress at a whole new level. I have never put so much work in school before. For some reason I don’t blame school or label it as my stressor, but other things. For example driving to and from school and the lack of enjoyment. I found that my eating habits also have altered. I eat at a really fast pace, I don’t chew right, swallowing food has been very difficult, and I am constantly for eating energy. I am beginning to worry about all these bad health problems, but the week is almost over and I am looking forward to a very lazy weekend. (Why isn’t there a save button??? wtf) Learning psychology this quarter made me slightly happier, because it connects with one of my other classes, which is btw focus on the topic of Ethic of Consumption. Learning these two classes made me realize how much people put themselves in a whole lot more stress than needed.
One example that many can relate to is working when it isn’t really necessary to have a job. Some people are working alot for many reasons: tuition, family, and even everyday maintance. But to most, working has been away to earn a little on the side to spend more money on nice or fancy things. Like new phone, blah blah blah. I hate to admit it but I too have thought this way, and felt like I need a job to buy more shit I don’t need. Realize that life is full of stress as it is. I have developed a new perspective in life and I am lucky that I found it earlier rather than later and hopefully others will understand why. Look to your left, to your right, and now look down at yourself. Now ask yourself, how many object did you just see that are branded or any type of object that is heavily advertised…including the clothing you are wearing. I can name one right off the back….The computer you are looking at, to read this blog. Believe it or not consumption has entered people’s lives every day. Buying that shirt you are wearing…ask yourself, are you truly happy to buy such expensive branded clothes? (if you are)
Happiness does not come from objects, but family and friends, which wants me to address the fact that I am starting to careless about what I wear in public. Not that I will go out BUTT ASS UGLY, but at least decent. Not wearing expensive clothing that I bought at EXPRESS or in a retail store in general. (Ross is the shit (sometimes))
Enough with educating Shiet. Basically, like what Alicia Keys said “Objects doesn’t define what’s within.” (Somewhere along those lines) I am just too lazy to express all this thought at once, but I’ll be glad to explain more in person.
Anyways I find myself happy with the thing I have and wouldn’t want any more or less. (maybe slightly alittle more) Which now draws my attention on another relating subject. NOBODY NEEDS A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND TO BE HAPPY. Honestly speaking being independent focus attention on the little flaws within you. Not saying that you can be perfect, but close to perfect. And maybe later in life someone would truly deserve you at your very best. The way I see it I am too young to fall in love and every time I say I am, I end up being wrong. Looking at it now, (after taking my classes) I realize it would be hard to find love or w.e in our society today because of the great amount of advertisements constantly reminding us how to be or how to look like in public.
I am simply just waiting till the right time comes. Waiting for someone that doesn’t have a CAKE FACE, someone intelligent, and isn’t afraid to be herself. Someone that can sense when something is wrong. Also who has great sense of humor. Not a party animal, but a stay in home kinda girl. (With me of course ;]) She has to be an 8 or 9 or even a 10 (honestly) And simply who expects a successful future. It’s going to be a long journey to find her, but it will all be worth it at the end.
Shit, I spent two hours writing this blog….gah! Back to REALITY lol